Who wants to hear Uncle Toby’s Story Time?! Too bad, you’re gonna hear it anyhow. Ya see, we KNOW that the music biz (haha!) is dying and we know labels are outmoded, but every once in a while you come across a band that blows you away and you want to help them share their music with the world. That’s what happened when I saw The Lippies play with The Lillingtons at a party in Vegas earlier this year. This was basically the first time these kids had ever played outside their home (of Grand Rapids, Michigan) and I was so impressed that I offered them a Red Scare deal that very night.

The singer, Tonia, is one of the most electric performers I have ever seen. Imagine if Johnny Rotten and Mia Zapata had a critter and didn’t have the good sense to abort the demonspawn. She is a vocal powerhouse and says some of the most offensive and hilarious stuff on stage. The other dudes are total goofballs too and hardly old enough to drink (especially Kole). I encouraged some pals to check them out in L.A. and they were all floored. Then Brendan went and saw them in Chicago and loved them too. What we’re sayin’ is… you’re gonna dig this music. It’s fascinating to me that a band can have an old-school punk sound with buzzsaw guitars, yet still be doing something young and fresh with the songs.

The band is finishing up their debut album now and we’ll get it out to you ASAP. If you wanna learn some more about these promising young nerds, here’s a stream of their self-released EP, you can read a review, or check out a couple good write-ups from the local press here and here. They’ve got some upcoming shows with The Lawrence Arms and Masked Intruder and a bunch more after that. Get stoked, comrades!

What is next, you ask? Here’s is what we have for you, comrades…

First up, on October 9th we roll out Sam Russo‘s Greyhound Dreams. It’s a very special record for us, and we know you guys are gonna fall in love with these songs. UK tastemakers Kerrang even did a feature on this new stuff. You can pre-order it from Interpunk and get a free patch, or if you want the vinyl in the UK, you can order it from our partners, Specialist Subject. Wait, Specialist Subject?! Dammit, we thought it was SOCIALIST Subject… too late now. You can expect plenty of great things to come from Sam in support of this album, including a UK tour with our pal Dan Andriano.

After that, we have a brand new band joining the family and they’re called The All Brights. A lot has already been said about these hilarious beach buds and Punknews has the full scoop here, but let’s just say it’s for fans of The Loved Ones, Bouncing Souls, singalong punk etc. You can pre-order their debut EP …Are Wild For The Night! here. And yeah bro, there will be vinyl, but that shit takes months to manufacture, so look for that in 2016. Also be on the lookout for song premiers and upcoming live shows. “Shred it, brah!”

Happy Summer, comrades. Hopefully whoever you serve (taskmaster, kommandant, sweatshop overlord, etc.) has permitted you to take furlough so you can get out and enjoy The People’s Beach. But not us. No fucking way. Like good proletarians we are tirelessly toiling away, ever under the lash. And why do we do it? WE DO IT FOR YOU. And we have two new releases from two trusted allies of the Red Scare bloc: Elway and Direct Hit!. Two bands, we should mention, that have pushed our strict “No Jorts” policy to the limit.

Coming first is Elway’s Better Whenever, out July 24th. Order that thing from Interpunk and get yourself a free (and hilarious) patch. The vinyl won’t be done until late August, but we wanted you guys to get stoked on the new stuff in time for their Riot Fest shows. Ain’t no fun to spray beer on your homeboys/homegirls unless you KNOW the new shit. Ya know?!? So get that noise on CD or iTunes on 7/24, or go stream this first track brought to you by the folks at Noisey/Vice.

Next is a Direct Hit! collection called More of The Same (Satanic Singles 2010-2014). Epic name, epic songs. Punknews posted a big scoop about the album and those cats at Interpunk are giving away freebies with purchase of that too. These are some of their very best songs, re-recorded, and it came out great, so do not miss out on this or else DH! will make you pay for your insolence. They always do. Look for this to be out on August 14th and look for the band at Riot Fest in Denver and Chicago. FUGP, right?

While we’re here, we should mention that there’s new records coming from Sam Russo and Nothington. Hell, even The Falcon has started tracking a new one. WHOA. We’ve added a couple new bands too (hint: one is from Michigan and one is from Santa Barbara), but more on that stuff later. For now, stay updated with us on Fartbook and Twitter. Enjoy the Summer, fellow plebs. Hang ten in East Berlin, etc etc.